Okanagan Lake
Always mirrors the calm sky
Here the clouds can swim
Sandy feet jump up
Why does the sand burn so hot?
Quick! run to water
Slim trees line the hills
Small birds chatter in the shade,
they love this place too
Clay mountains stand tall,
guarding the peace that lives here
with unique beauty
Every year I come
Forever remembering,
Okanagan Lake
This poem describes one of my favorite places: Okanagan Lake. I think the most abundant poetic device in this poem is imagery. Stanza's 1,2, and 4 all incorporate imagery. My main goal when writing this poem was to give the reader a vivid image of the Lake and surrounding scenery. Also there is personification in several places: Line 3 Stanza 1 "Here the clouds can swim", Line 2 Stanza 3 "Birds chatter", Lines 2&3 Stanza 4 " guarding the peace that lives here, with unique beauty". I wanted to use alot of personification in this poem to make the images really come alive. Also, as you can clearly see this is a haiku poem meaning it has 5 sylables in the first and third lines, and 7 in the second. Usually haiku poems are only one verse, however I felt that the Okanagan deserved more than that.
Nancy-Anne, your imagery in this poem is really fantastic! I love that you were able to paint a different portion of the poem's picture with each stanza - especially the beautiful images of the swimming clouds, the clay mountains and the peace of the atmosphere.
ReplyDeleteThe poem has such a tranquil tone and really illustrates the mood of a restful summer by a lake. Wonderful job!
Wow, can you say artsy? haha. After reading this poem I still can't believe you wrote it, it is just so good. This poem is near to my heart because I too visit Okanagan Lake every summer. As Rachel mentioned above, this poem couldn't have more imagery, I feel like I am relaxing on a chair, soaking in the sun, and looking around at the amazing beauty. Bravo Nancy-Anne, for a job well done!
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Nancy-Anne! I've never been to Okanagan Lake, but it sounds wonderful. My favorite line is "always mirrors the calm sky". I agree with Rachel's comment about your "tranquil tone". Great poem!
ReplyDeleteNancy-Anne,
ReplyDeleteYou certainly have a style for verse :) This is a great poem! I personally find haikus a bit challenging but you've done it really well! I love Okanagan Lake myself and have been there several times, so in the eyes of this poetry reviewer, your imagery is spot on! I personally love the first stanza of your poem! It definitely sets up a great mood :) Kudos Nancy-Anne!
Well done Nancy-Anne! I really liked this haiku, and when I went to look for the author I was shocked to see it was you! The poem has imagery and flow I would expect from someone with years of experience. Again, mad props!
ReplyDeleteIn this poem, I liked how you used the short haiku format to express many ideas, about the nature, the beach, the animals, the mountains, etc. I also liked how you started and ended your poem with the same line, to give it a strong theme throughout. Great writing!
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Emil "pRose"
I've never been to Okanagan Lake personally, but your imagery and description makes it sound so beautiful - I kind of want to go. Great writing and style. You're quite lucky to go every year!
ReplyDeleteAgree with the last comment!
ReplyDeleteWow, the imagery really makes me think this is a sight worth seeing, as yours was definitely a poem worth reading! My favourite line is "the clay mountains stand tall, guarding the peace that still lives here"- awesome personification! The difficulty of writing a haiku is the emphasis placed on word selection, but you nailed it! (except a 6-syllable line but that's besides the point)
"After reading this poem I still can't believe you wrote it, its just so good"- max stern
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this poem I was not at all surprised to see such poetic excellence drip out of you into your work.
It's hard to describe what I felt but this poem gave me such a unique sense of tranquility and raw dose of relaxation. This is due to the fantastic imagery you used. I loved how you said "mirrors the sky"- it is a very artistic way of phrasing your message. Also it was the perfect length.
Wow, your haiku is really unique! I really like how you describe a different part of the lake in every verse (trees, mountains, birds). Reading this poem makes me feel calm and relaxed. Good work!
ReplyDelete